Wednesday, October 11, 2017

I’ve Been Married for a Year Now!

Signing our marriage contract :)

One year ago, I said “I do” to the weirdest and most interesting man I’ve ever met.

It was not the kind of wedding I would draw about in my old notebooks when I was a kid. I wasn’t wearing the white lacy dress with a long train I have been sketching since I was in high school. Plus I did not imagine that my wedding would happen while I had a cast on my right foot.

Impromptu vows. xD

Yes, it was nothing like how I dreamed it would be years ago, but it didn’t make my wedding any lesser of a wedding, in my opinion.

I will not lie. I used to want the usual big wedding. I guess us, girls, have been groomed to demand that we deserve that kind of wedding. But when my husband and I got to talk about how instead of a grand wedding, we should just save the money for other more important things like a house, for travelling, etc., instead of stressing over for an event that will only last for a few hours. I found myself saying YES.

 That was when I realized how he has matured and how he’s serious about our future. Because the truth of the matter is, the kind of wedding you will have will never define how your marriage will be. And so far, my marriage has been pretty awesome.

Davao vacation. He's close to being cranky. Hehe

True, we still argue. We do not always agree on everything. After all, we’re two different people and we love and respect each other despite of our differences. How do we deal with things? One of us try to be more calm and patient when the other one seems to be more “in-the-zone” to argue. Hehe. For some reason, it was an automatic response that someone would just assume that responsibility. Plus, it helps that we know how to deal with each other. I would usually speak calmer and let him rant all the way, while he would usually crack a joke after I rant and offer to buy me food. And in case we’re not together when we’re arguing, we have agreed to not text or send a message to each other while we’re mad or until we’ve talked in person at the end of the day (and since we both travel a lot for work, or until we see each other).

Date night :)

He may not have named a star after me, but he encourages and pushes me to reach for my star. He never stops me from doing my passion. As long as I love and enjoy what I’m doing, he’s totally cool with it. Yes, there would be times when we would be both busy. He’s very passionate with what he does at work and I am too! But we are very secure with the love and commitment that we have for each other that we never felt the need to compete with each other’s career.

Tuktuk ride in Siem Reap, Cambodia :)

Nothing much has changed when we got married. The only change, I guess, is that we live together now. We still get to be our own selves even after getting married and that’s something we both value. A lot of people would tell you that when you get married, you become one. Well… Yes and no. You become one because when it comes to major life decisions, you need to either agree or meet in the middle. And when one makes a personal decision about something, you still need to, somehow, adjust because you will still get affected, in a way. But the minor things like we still go out with our friends, we can still go home late (provided you just tell the other person how you’re doing so he/she won’t worry), and we can still leisurely travel on our own is one of the perks of us not taking the “becoming one” literally. Also, when it comes to our finances, we just agree on putting a certain percentage from our salary to our joint savings account, while the rest is for us to decide where to put. And yes, we split bills.



And last, but definitely not the least, is that we never compare our relationship with how other people deal with theirs. We don’t believe and subscribe to those #RELATIONSHIPGOALS. Just do what works for you and let other people do their own thing. Just like how each person is different, each relationship is too. When you start comparing your relationship with how other people manage theirs, you will never be able to appreciate the beauty and uniqueness of what you two share together. You will start falling in love with the idea more instead of the actual person you’re committed with. And that is pretty scary.

With my family

With his family

If I’m asked about how my marriage is going, I always say it’s pretty cool and chill. When older couples try to give me advice on how I should do things in my marriage, I listen but I don’t necessarily do what they tell me to. Well, you see, no one can ever know what goes on and what will work best for your marriage but you. And if you keep taking in what other people has to say about your marriage instead of trying to talk to your partner and assessing things together, you will always be bothered by the littlest things. True that you need some friends to talk to from time to time, but remember… It’s your relationship and your rules. Don’t let other people join in and run it for you.

--

In Ilocos - our first out of town trip together as a couple.

To my husband,

I just want to thank you for being the awesome and weird person that you are. Things don’t always go as how we plan them to be, but as long as we know where we stand and we hold on to the love and commitment we have for each other, we’ll be good. I will always stand by you, not just as your wife, but as your partner and best friend. You’re so lucky to have it all in one. Ha!


I love you always and forever.

6 comments:

  1. Very interesting post and amazing photos!

    Have a lovely day!
    Tsukiakari from murasakiiroanu.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Congrats on being married, I wish you a long and happy marriage!

    https://styledwithamanda.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was also married via civil rights and never did I imagine that I will be wearing mint green as my dress! Haha! :) Yes, lace, but not white. :) But I agree with you, Gel! No one can tell you how to work your marriage. It will always be YOU. :) Been married for 4 years now and I would say, it also has been amazing! Happy ONE YEAR of marriage to you both! May you stay in love!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Congrats on your one year anniversary lady! You two look super happy together. Also, congrats on your new condo. :)

    -Emily www.coatandcoffee.com

    ReplyDelete

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