"To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under the heaven." - Ecclesiastes 3:1
Things were going pretty well, I guess. There were some things in my life, which I do not understand, still; but I know I'm doing good. I have no regrets with regard to the things I have pursued and I am happy with where I am right now. However, a few days ago, I dreamed about this one thing from my past, which I have already forgotten about. I mean, I know it happened but it never haunted me back until recently.
|Maxi Dress from Nicky | Cardigan: SM Surplus | Flower Wreath: Department Store|
Everything came back to me and I, once again, remembered how it has caused me so much pain and shame before; but I managed to lock it all inside a chest and, eventually, forgot about the whole thing. I never had a closure and I never had someone I can confide to about what happened. What I didn't know is that this incident will, forever, change my life.
It has created a significant impact on how I lived my life and on how I have turned out to be. You all know how strong and firm I am with things so, you can say, that I didn't turn out to be so bad after all; but I had to go through A LOT. I endured a lot of hardships, which I have inflicted to myself and it is only now that I have traced why I did the things I did - because of that one incident in my past. I am not blaming my past for the things I have gotten myself into; but the dream I had about my past has lead me to understanding what happened to me.
|Shoes from Nicky|
At first, I didn't understand why it needed to come back to me; but now I do. I needed an explanation and a closure because I am off to a new phase in my life. That incident in my past explained why I acted the way I did before and it was the closure I needed. Although, I don't think I'd ever find a closure with regard to what happened to me in the past, and it doesn't matter anymore. The closure I needed was for starting this new phase and leaving everything in the past. It needed to knock on my door again because this is the right time to think about it, reflect about it and learn from it without going through all those emotional stress because I am stronger now and I know that nothing good will ever come out of dwelling so much on it in a negative way.
God knew I am ready to deal with it, learn from it and off to that next phase in my life now.