OOTD: On This Broken Merry Go 'Round

I guess, in a way, I have become this stronger woman because of the adversities I have been facing and as well the many changes I had to deal with in my life. I am not just talking about work but also in my personal life both within my family and, well, love life. I wanted to get out of where I was before but I was so afraid because I was in my comfort zone. I was doing good; but little did I know that through not wanting to undergo change, I am letting myself stagnate.

"Same hurt in every heart. Same trailer, different park."

 I remember how actively I have been dating but I felt like I am doing something wrong because it does not always work out. And, for me, just because it didn't work out with the other people doesn't mean it wouldn't work out ever. I just needed to find what I was doing wrong or maybe they're not just "the one." In the end, I figured out that it was both. I was giving in to the wrong people and I have let myself fall for those who do not really appreciate me. I have also been trying different things that I, ultimately, forgot what it is that I really wanted. Different guys, similar  stories, same endings. I tried settling for the lesser things but, obviously, I should never.  When I started going out with the guy I am, currently, seeing (For those of you whom I am friends with in Facebook... Yes, we're official now) we connected really well and, even though, there were differences in some of the things we believe in, we were able to understand and respect each other. And, to tell you quite frankly, I have never felt this comfortable with someone before. Well.. After I started actively dating, I mean. He was someone who is not afraid to commit, to take the step forward and loves and appreciates me for my past, my present and my future.

"Same checks we're always cashin' to buy a little more distraction."

I have been talking a lot about the changes I had to deal with at work. Before I took the step forward, there has been a long and hard debate inside myself... If I leave, I will be at an unsecure place and there is that tendency that I might lose my job; but if I don't leave, I won't grow. I may have that steady and secure place to earn money but I am always stressed because of the repetitiveness and the stagnating feeling I've had inside me. I may have been able to buy almost everything I want before and go out anytime I want but is that all there is to life? I needed a bigger purpose and that purpose was revealed when I took a step to change.

Bag: Liz Claiborne | Shoes: Primadonna

"Just like dust we settle in this town."

Leaving my family and, finally, living by myself is one of the biggest decisions I have made in my life. I became stronger, more responsible and I learned a lot of things. And now, during these hard times in my family, I am now more capable of giving and helping out because the challenges I have faced has molded me into a better and dependable person.

Dress: Nicky | Kimono: Nicky

If I would summarize all the things that I have learned this year, it is that change is something we should never be afraid of but we should still be careful. In taking risks, we learn and we become stronger. I am quite elated with how my life has been going. I was able to get out of that endless broken merry go 'round. I have moved on.