To the Woman I Used to Take for Granted

 They say that one of the most admirable qualities we, Filipinos, have is that we are family-oriented. I would have to admit that I thought I wasn’t until I got married.

You can say that I’ve taken my family for granted, especially my mom, in my younger years. A lot of us must have been through that. At one point in your life you must have said:

“I hate my mom, she doesn’t understand me.”

“My mom doesn’t get my generation. She will never get me!”

“She is so old fashioned. I won’t be like her when I have my own kids.”

“She doesn’t really love me. She doesn’t want me to be happy.”

Yes, I was a very angst-y kid growing up. I’m not going to say that I’m the black sheep of the family. Let’s just say that I am very rebellious and I try to defy the rules because I told myself that I want to be my own person and that no one should stop me from doing the things that make me happy. Little did I know that my mom just wants the best for me.

My mom isn’t perfect. Golly jeez, she’s not. But her love for me is perfect and I feel so shitty for not realizing that when I was younger. She may be old school and very traditional, but that’s what makes her funny sometimes and what keeps me from going over the top. And I learned to love that about her.

She tries her best to understand me and to get to know me more. I used to ignore her and shut her out from my world. I even told myself that as soon as I graduate college I am so leaving my parents’ place, but it didn’t happen. I didn’t move out until I was 25. And when I moved out, my dad told me that my mom was crying that night. I’d have to admit that my first apartment was crap. And my mom was so hurt that I’d be living in a crappy place like that.

Mom and Dad :)

Yes, my mom can often be emotional, but that’s just because she has so much love in her heart. The love she has for her own parents, for my dad, and for me and my siblings is definitely incomparable and I am so blessed to have her in my life. Words are not enough to describe how amazing my mom is.

Lately I’ve been feeling really exhausted and tired, not physically, but more emotionally. And the first one who popped into my head to call up is none other than my own mom. Just the sound of her voice was enough to make me feel a bit better. And during that time I really felt that she was really trying to comfort me, understand me, and make me feel better. I actually heard the pain in her voice because no mother would want to see their child in pain. But she was just there listening to me and trying to stay strong for me.

I can’t believe that it’s only now that I'm living on my own that I’ve realized how wonderful my mom is. She may be weird, strict, old fashioned, and traditional, but I will never want to have another mother but her. And I’m glad that I can still show her how much I love and appreciate her because for some, it’s already too late.

Mom,

Thank you so much for everything. Thank you for taking care of me, understanding me, and always wanting the best for me. I know you must have already been sick and tired of hearing me say “I love you,” over and over again for the past few months. But I’m sorry because I’m not stopping anytime soon. I will never get tired of showing you and telling you how much I love you even if it’s x number of times every single day. I love you. I love you. I love you so much.

Again, thank you for everything and happiest birthday to you, mom.