“I’m losing it. With every move I die.”
I guess I have become less attached to things today than I was yesterday. I have learned the art of moving on in 1,2,3, snap, GONE! I don’t really know if it’s a good thing or not but it helps. It helps me focus on the more important things in life and helps me to get through things and be less emotional about them. But sometimes, it’s as if I have become too numb to feel pain, which may be, what some people need but not me.
I was in the sunrise phase and moving on to the next step when things just fell down like a collapsing Jenga Tower. It was all so sudden and I was just left surprised and amazed at how okay I am. There was no hate in my heart, no regrets, I miss the moments but I have moved on the next day. I guess it’s both a gift and a curse. A gift because it has never damaged me in any way; a curse because it could be because I’m already damaged, maybe, or could be because I kind of miss the feeling of being hurt and just crying, about my own loss, my own sadness, my own reality not that of a movie.
FACE: L’Oreal le teint True Match in Nude Amber | LA Colors Loose Powder in Natural | SanSan Cheek Blusher in Rosy Blush
EYES: Ever Bilena Color Pencil in Brown | ELF Wet Gloss Lash & Brow Clear Mascara | SanSan CYO Eyeshadow in Purple Amethyst | Clinique Color Surge Eye Shadow Duo (darker brown shade) | Revlon Color Stay 16 Hour Eye Shadow in Inspired (white shade) | SanSan Gel Eyeliner in Black | Maybelline The Falsies Volum Express Waterproof in Brownish Black
LIPS: Nanny Rose’s Queen Bee Lip Balm in Four Slices of Raspberry Cheesecake | Skin Food Lip Gloss in The Chocolate Makes You More Sweet & Deep
HOW I DID IT:
One pump of the L’Oreal le teint True Match in Nude Amber is enough for my whole face. I pump it on the back of my hand and applied it using my fingers and blended it well. Then, to set it, I used the LA Colors Loose Powder in Natural.
For my eyes, I filled in my brows using the Ever Bilena Color Pencil in Brown and used the ELF Wet Gloss Lash & Brow Clear Mascara to set and tame it. I applied the SanSan CYO Eyeshadow in Purple Amethyst all over my lids, then the Clinique Color Surge Eye Shadow Duo (darker brown shade) on my crease and for my brow bone, I used the Revlon Color Stay 16 Hour Eye Shadow in Inspired (white shade). Afterwards, I used the SanSan Gel Eyeliner in Black for my upper lid, curled my lashes and applied the Maybelline The Falsies Volum Express Waterproof in Brownish Black on them.
For the finishing touches, I used the SanSan Cheek Blusher in Rosy Blush for my cheeks applying it in a slanted upward position to create a blushing contouring effect and then I used the Nanny Rose’s Queen Bee Lip Balm in Four Slices of Raspberry Cheesecake for my lips and topped it with the Skin Food Lip Gloss in The Chocolate Makes You More Sweet & Deep.
“Never once I thought I’d be in pieces left behind.”
I was trying to revive the little ounce of romanticism I have left inside of me and somehow, I managed to pour out some; but that’s just it. There’s nothing left for me to give, nothing left for me to wait on and nothing left for me to hope for about it. It’s just as simple as letting go of the things that could possibly hurt you and replace them with the bright and wonderful things life can offer. Let go, move on and live your life. Good things will come our way but we just need to take the risk and continue walking forward. Don’t look back, just keep moving.
“I am so delusional.”
P.S. A new chapter has just been opened again. Wish me luck on this one!
Quotes are from: Dancing with Tears in my Eyes by Ke$ha