“I would have given you all of my heart; but there’s someone who’s torn it apart.”
And even though I have been constantly telling you all to take risks and move forward in life, there would be times when the past would just haunt and stop you from doing so. It may seem quite annoying and frustrating at first; but there would, actually, be instances when it haunts you just to tap your shoulder and say, “You’ve been there. Do you really want to go back to square one and do it all over again?” How would you know? You just will.
I know I have moved on (because I have that amazing gift of not dwelling so much in the past); but lately, my past has been haunting me and reminding me of why I should be careful this time around. For when I keep dipping my toes in the water without assessing it initially, I might soon be numb enough to, actually, not care at all; and that is the scariest part.
|Dress: SM Surplus|
“I still want you by my side; just to help me dry the tears that I’ve cried.”
Do I want this just to help me move on or do I genuinely want this? Sometimes I get so confused between these two. I get so overwhelmed with the temporal joy it brings that I, eventually, forget to assess the situation and how I really feel deep down inside. I wouldn’t want to be used to get over someone so I shouldn’t do the same. I should never be so selfish to disregard the feelings of other people just so I can satisfy my own. As much as how some people may call it, “survival of the fittest,” I wouldn’t want other people to feel used and wasted at the end of the day, same as I don’t ever want to feel that too.
|Belt: Gifted by Ros | Bag: Gifted by Mama Bels|
|Bracelet: Gifted by Ros | Scarf: Pashmina|
I don’t know if I ask for too much sometimes; but, maybe, I just want someone to prove to me that he deserves my trust. Yes, I know, I shouldn’t be too hard on myself; but it’s what keeps me alive, keeps me sane and keeps me from making the same mistake again. And as much as I know that not all men are the same, sometimes, I still can’t give in that easy. It will always take time, but I know it will be worth it in the end. It should be.
“Baby, I’ll try to love again but I know...”
|With sister, Czai. Strutting our stuff. LOL|