Expectations - people have them. May it be for a certain event, a specific thing or even on a person. And when someone expects so much from you, and looks up to you as someone who is strong and dependable... You have this feeling that you just can't let them down no matter what; especially if that person means so much in your life.
Eventually, the pressure will get to you. You will get to your boiling point and just give up. Retreating... That is okay. That happened to me and there's nothing wrong with admitting that, sometimes, you can never be the ultimate wall everyone can depend on. Sometimes, you need someone to depend on as well. I guess, it took a while before I have finally accepted that fact. I needed to fall and have no means of getting up by myself like before.
|Capt. America Shirt: SM Department Store | Shorts: Ward88 | Shoes: Primadonna | Bag: Bought from Bicol|
When I started this post I actually didn't know what the resolve would be - how it would end up. I feel so depressed and weak and helpless that after typing a few words I want to break down and cry. I kid you not. But then something happened - a realization.
I have been through a lot in my life and for so long, I have kept it all to myself. I never asked for anyone's help and I, eventually, thought of myself as a superhero who can surpass everything without anyone's help. But then I look at my reflection in the mirror... I'm not wearing tights, I don't have a cape, I cannot fly and I still get heartbreaks and cry over things. I am human and I cannot do this alone.
I keep only a few friends now whom I openly discuss my emotions with and I am relieved that I have finally been able to let go of the mask I have long been using. I am strong but I can't be strong by myself. I am not my own superhero... I can be for some people but there would be times that I would need a superhero of my own. My friends and family are my superheroes. No man is an island and I am, indeed, a man not an extraordinary magical being.