OOTD: Hard Out Here

“Don’t need to shake my ass for you ‘cos I’ve got a brain”

Whenever someone would ask me what my typical Friday night is like, for sure, it will not include clubbing or getting pissed drunk; but don’t get me wrong though, I still go to clubs but like only once every 6 months and I still get pissed drunk but only once a year, I think. But I do drink! Though, I’m already done with two bottles. I guess I’m boring, no? I guess I’m more of a coffee, tea, movies, long walks and intellectual conversations kind of girl.

Glasses: Firmoo.com | Top: Thrifted | Shorts: Ward 88 | Shoes: Fioni from Payless

But it’s not just about what I do on a Friday night; it’s so much more than that. You see, before I became a beauty blogger and knew all about these makeup “stuff,” yes that’s how I call them (ala Miranda of the Devil Wears Prada with the quote, unquote thing), I didn’t care much about how I look. First of all, I’m not saying I’m even the total epitome of being beautiful right now but my point is, at least, I look better today than I did before. So, in short, I got more attention today than I ever did before and even from people who didn’t even notice me nor paid attention to me back then. There even came a time when I felt like doing a “revenge” sort of thing and, although, it was such a kickass thought; I am so much more than that so I’d pass.

Bag: Locally made product from Bicol

What pissed me off of the whole thing was that, I think I had a more interesting, unique and girlfriend-worthy personality before; but just because of the fact that I look better now, they’d start paying attention? Oh please. I’m not even picky right now. Maybe, I just wish to meet someone who can make me feel that he actually like me more than just what the eyes can physically perceive. Impossible? Not really. Hard, definitely! Am I asking for too much? I don’t know, maybe?

FOTD and OOTD I took when I got to work

“If I told you ‘bout my sex life, you’d call me a slut. Them boys be talking ‘bout their bitches, no one’s making a fuss.”

For someone who believes and firmly pushes for gender equality, I am aware that there’s so much more to it than how women can benefit from the idea. I am not even saying I’d, literally, like to have sex with people and be merrily guiltless about it; because as a woman, I believe we tend to be more emotional with regard to the subject. Salute to those who can do it without getting emotionally involved, though. You’re one hell of a strong woman. “...To each his own,” I say, so run with the wind mi lady! But, my point here is, there is this thought embedded in each human brain (or at least factual for some Filipinos) that says, “women should just stay at home and be the good and obedient wife after marriage” or “woman, get married before 30 or you’re considered an old maid” or “don’t be too successful because men will find it intimidating and emasculating...” Blah, blah blah! Whether we deny that fact or not, we still live in a patriarchal society, which may be slowly changing (thank, God!); but, then again, I know a lot of people who go about having that thought, and I hope they’d soon see thing from a different perspective. Please get over your vacuum tube days!

“Forget your balls and grow a pair of tits...”

Because women, have it hard in this world; starting from how we should maintain and keep our body (hello Brazilian, waxing of other parts, looking “naturally” beautiful, as some men would call it, be hot, be sexy; or all those other things fed by the media which says, “this is how those women worthy of your attention should be.”), the things we go through (jiggling big tits, menstruation, pregnancy and delivery of ze little angel), and how men see and imagine us to be (ala Stepford wife). We live in this constant pressure of having to look good and, although, I live by my own rules through being confident and pushing for the thought that I am beautiful in my own way, we can’t really change how most people think, realistically speaking.

His and Her. Photos are all taken from my smart phone. His is reds, I do the option.

“You’re not a size six and you’re not good-looking. Well you better be rich or be real good at cooking. You should probably lose some weight ‘cause we can’t see your bones. You should probably fix your face or you’ll end up on your own...”

If you didn’t get the sarcasm behind it, pity you, then. I love Lily Allen and her songs. It tells you so much of how reality is; and as for my final thought:

I can never be perfect and I will never push for it. I would just live my life the way I think it should be lived and continuously improve myself based on what I think is better for my well-being. Acceptance should be a mutual process; but it’s something we cannot really force into anyone. The first step is to just be true to yourself, and although it will be a hard road to go through, I’d rather stumble and fall, be laughed at and judged rather than pretend and try to impress people with who I am not.

I am beautiful in my own way and I have people around me, who appreciate me for who I am and beyond how I look. Thank God for them, I guess.

Thanks to JR Manulid for the photos during our coffee hangout night in Coffee Bean, Tomas Morato. Our conversation that night included some of the things I've shared in this post, our views about random issues in the society and in our lives, and just about the silliest stories we can think about. Then, we watched Before Sunset in my phone and he was amazed (I wish LOL) when I was singing along with Celine during the "Waltz" song. Oo, kabisado ko, bakit? May problema? LOL