Something amazing happened and it pushed me to expecting too much again. I hate setting expectations but, sometimes, I just can’t help it. Things are really not going bad. As a matter of fact, they’re all going great, or so I think. I did some things that I don’t usually do and although I am scared that things might not go as how my mind projected them to be, I guess all I have to do is live life as it is and just enjoy each moment. I don’t want to hold back, because if I do, I might do some things that could make things more complicated; but if I don’t, it might push me off of a cliff and I’d end up falling alone.
|Necklace: Hyphen Curiosities | Ring: Bazaar | Bag: Gifted by Mama Bels (From Landmark)|
Although I think, I kind of already did. I just hate concealing things especially when you know that what you have is something that might, eventually, be really something. It’s all going that way and just last week, another thing happened that just made me more attached. I don’t know why I’m suddenly being all emotional and pessimistic when things are really going well. However, there is this “woman’s intuition” that just makes me feel so paranoid. They say trust your instincts but what are the probabilities? What if it’s wrong? I don’t want to assume, I don’t want to question things, I don’t want to ask too much because, honestly, I don’t have the right to... yet.
|Marilyn Monroe Cropped Top: Gifted by cousin | Maxi Skirt: Ward 88|
|Bracelet: Gifted by Ros | Shoes: Forever 21|
I hate being in this state but we all have to go through it. Everything that will, eventually, lead into something grand should go through this. I can say that I wish things are less complicated and more assuring but that’s really not how things go and, sometimes, things will end up as how we wanted them to be or not. It’s hard to accept if it’s the latter though but we have to.
|Attending the Christening of Ma'am Lee's daughter|
|The Marketing & Communications Department of KMBI|
|One of the coolest, if not the coolest, department in KMBI|
|Ma'am Margs | Ma'am Maris | Ma'am Lee | ME | Dave|
“I tip toe around your questions. Why you gotta dig so deep?”
I’m scared of the fact that I need to open it all up if I want things to work out in the end. I don’t want to end up living in a lie. But when do you open it all? When do you trust? That is that hardest part of it all – knowing when you’ll show your vulnerable part. Things could end up bad or you could be accepted. They would all want to see what’s beyond the facade but who can really handle the truth? Can I lean on to those sugar-coated words?
|Beside the Cake Stand in Kitchen of Cakes and Coffee at SM North, EDSA|
“A doll house is all that you could see but it’s so far from my reality.”
No one is perfect and I think I have given much emphasis on that for the past few weeks or so. I am not superwoman, I am not a Barbie doll and I am not living the ultimate life one could ever dream of. I have a good life but it’s far from being the most desirable one. Sometimes, people tend to create these set of expectation on you too and they will paint a perfect picture of who they think you are without even getting into the core. I hate being, initially, judged as something I’m not may it be something that will make me look so perfect or damaged – either way, you won’t really know what’s it all about.
I just want things to, finally, work out. I have been giving and trusting and end up having to move on one path to another. It’s tiring, sometimes. And although people may say that I have a choice and if I want to stop and rest I can, you can’t really choose when things will come in your life. I guess I’m just trying to live the moment and sometimes we just have to accept the fact that it may go well or it just may plainly suck.
"Wrap it up with a pretty little bow but there are some things you can't sugarcoat so I give it to you anyway; even though it won't taste so sweet."